A story John hears every week
By the time she died, the accounts were already empty.
Illustration. Not a real client.
Your cousin started helping Mom after her hip surgery. Groceries at first, then the bills, then a power of attorney “just in case.” It was a relief. You live an hour away and work two jobs.
Over the next two years Mom answered the phone less often. When you called, your cousin said she was resting. When you visited, the mail had already been sorted.
After the funeral you opened the bank statements. Transfers every month. A new name added to the savings account. Checks to people nobody in the family has heard of. The account that was supposed to cover Mom’s burial, and leave a little for each grandchild, is nearly empty.
What usually decides a case like this
Whether the money was spent on Mom, or on someone else. A power of attorney lets a helper pay a parent’s bills. It doesn’t let them pay themselves, make gifts to themselves, or put their own name on accounts, unless the document truly allows it and it served the parent. Bank records usually tell the story month by month.
California takes money taken from an elderly person seriously. Claims for what was taken can survive the parent’s death, and in cases of bad faith a court can order someone who wrongfully took property to pay back up to twice its value.
Questions families ask in this spot
Didn’t the power of attorney give her the right?
It gave her the right to act for Mom, not for herself. An agent has to act in the parent’s interest, keep the money separate, and keep records. “She told me I could” is something the agent has to prove.
Is it too late now that Mom is gone?
Often not. Claims for what was taken during a parent’s lifetime can usually be brought for her estate or trust after her death. There are deadlines, so don’t wait.
Should we have seen it coming?
Families almost never do. The person taking the money is usually the one answering the phone. What matters now is getting the records, not blaming yourselves.
What you can do
- Gather every bank and card statement you can reach, and note which accounts you can’t.
- Find the power of attorney itself and read what it allows.
- Don’t confront the helper alone, and don’t agree to “settle up” informally.
- Write down when Mom changed: when she stopped calling, stopped seeing friends, and who started answering for her.
- Call John. Cases like this are often handled on contingency.
More stories John hears
The changed form
“The will says equal. The insurance went to one person.”
The will split everything three ways. The life insurance and the IRA paid one son.
Out of state
You moved away. Your brother stayed. Now Mom’s gone.
Every question gets the same answer: “You weren’t here.” Most of this can be handled from where you live.
The clause
“If I challenge it, do I lose what she left me?”
The trust says anyone who contests it gets nothing. She has read that line forty times.